i want to go to italy

I learned something this morning:
Pitigliano, Italy is also called 'little Jerusalem' for its Jewish history, Semitic architecture, and rich culture. In Pitigliano, a local delicacy is called Sfratti. Sfratti is a stick-shaped biscuit filled with walnuts, honey, nutmeg, and orange peel. (Sounds delish!) The word sfratti comes from the Italian word sfratto, meaning eviction. The story is told that police used to hit Jews with rods to force them into the ghettos of the town starting in the 1600's, where they were segregated continuing through the 20th century until they were almost eradicated from the city during WWII; the Jews transformed their pain into something edible.
What an amazing example! It has made me think.....What causes you pain, and how could you transform it into something positive, even the actual reminder/representation of this pain?

warning: cheesy-gratitude post alert

As much as it has become a bit cliche to count your blessings during this time of year and many have scoffed at those who plaster social media with expressions of gratitude, I will venture to do so as I reflect on this statement from President Thomas S. Monson (prophet, seer, revelator, and president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints):

I have found that, rather than dwelling on the negative, if we will take a step back and consider the blessings in our lives, including seemingly small, sometimes overlooked blessings, we can find greater happiness....I would recommend this same exercise to you—namely, that you take an inventory of your life and look specifically for the blessings, large and small, you have received. 

(http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/10/consider-the-blessings?lang=eng)

Since I always welcome more happiness in my life, I thought I would follow President Monson's advice, and since I also enjoy sharing what happiness I find with others, I thought I would post what I find from my life inventory of blessings here.

Blessings:

knowledge of, faith in, love of God, our Heavenly Father
similarly, His Son, Jesus Christ and the miraculous atonement He gave us
the gift of the Holy Ghost...the ultimate comforter, teacher, testifier
the priesthood...God's power and authority that he has bestowed on worthy men, and those men who hold it/exercise it worthily to bless those around them

living, modern prophets and apostles

temples...the House of the Lord
living close to a temple so I can enter frequently
saving ordinances... that cleanse us from sin, seal upon us blessings, and bind us together for all eternity
family
sisters....fun, craziness, long talks, inside jokes, traditions, short arguments
parents...who showed me good examples, taught me eternal truths, and loved me always
friends...so many wonderful friends who have blessed my life in so many ways!
scriptures and words of living prophets...bringing the spirit into my life and teaching me how to be better
Christ's true church restored to the earth
laughter...i LOVE to laugh! at myself, at movies, with friends, with family. the day is not complete without moments of spontaneous bouts of laughter
music...for when I'm happy, sad, angry, lonely, excited, energized, spiritual..music is always there and always knows how I feel :)
education
the ability to read/write
books
hot chocolate
dark chocolate
mint and chocolate...together they are amazing
sunshine
seasons...although I don't really like winter, I'll admit it helps me appreciate my beloved summer more
water...to drink, to shower, to clean, to swim
mountains
beaches
my car
shelter..warm/dry/comfortable place to live
hobbies
entertainment
a job
clothing
cute, colorful clothes (there are clothes to cover your body/keep you warm, but then there is more...)
shoes
boots
scarves
electricity
technology

the Sabbath day
holidays
traditions
food
tasty food!
heaters
water heaters
football
a strong/healthy body
access to medicine/health care
computers
phones....and smart phones most especially :)
communication
movies
Disney movies (yes I am a sucker for a really good/funny Disney movie, thank you Walt Disney for bringing wholesome entertainment to the world)
art...in various forms
mentors
teachers

opportunities for learning/growth
talents
shampoo/soap
bleach....mold be gone!
GPS
people who are more intelligent than myself
Relief Society
visiting teaching
girls' nights
vacuums
washer/dryer

language

hair.....yes I might be a bit prideful of my healthy, thick, honey-colored locks. I now go to repent.

repentance

chapstick

travel

variety...in everything!

working senses...sight, hearing, touch, taste, smell

color

men...I'm a woman and I love men. so sue me.

being a woman...I love feeling pretty!

hiking

camping

rivers

waterfalls

nature...brings me peace/joy, reminds me of my Father in Heaven

sugar...makes everything better

pizza

pictures...to remember good times

patience 

examples of strong/wise people

sleep

running...it kills my knees but feels so good!...don't ask me how

dancing

fun

memories

my bed

blankets

service

living in the United States of America

freedom

agency

the metro

opportunitites to serve/reach out to others

innovation

intelligence

time to be still and think

progression

goals

work

commandments

happiness

I know this is a really long list...and I honestly could have kept going, but you get the idea and the exercise has fulfilled its purpose. I have been so incredibly blessed. I have SO much that others do not and have everything that I need to live. I have never lacked for any of the necessities of life. How I got to be so blessed I will never know. 

onward, ever onward

Today I am finding great joy and peace in the true principle of progression and its best friend and constant companion: repentance. I have been extremely busy of late and thus perhaps this has damped my usual fire for goal setting and improving. But I recently made my typical supplication to the Lord to find out where I can improve and what areas of my life needed refining.
Disclaimer: if you are not feeling humble or ambitious I do not recommend doing this as He really will answer your prayer and help you identify areas needing improvement and then you will feel guilty until you work on them. :)
But what an amazing opportunity we have to do this and to change ourselves as we turn our will over to the Lord and become as he would have us be. To see yourself in a fresh light and through His eyes.
Sometimes I get a bit stubborn (yes i am slightly...ok maybe a bit more than slightly..strong-willed) about some things and resist the gentle promptings until they become blaring/flashing warning signs and I realize that he was trying to prod me in one direction for a while. Luckily though, I have yet to ignore Him completely thanks to His great love and knowledge of me better than I know myself, and thanks to the Holy Ghost who is my constant friend. I am then able to make course corrections and know that it is in line with His will, not mine. I am eternally grateful for a Father in Heaven who is unfailing patient and loving as we stumble and struggle to be what he wants us to be. And more than anything for the atonement that makes this progression possible.
I am also finding joy in patience....which, ill admit, is at times hard to find joy in. I think as humans we can all relate to the easy trap of impatience. Time is such a huge and defining part of this life, however we are not temporal beings. We are eternal beings and will not always be defined by time. In fact more of our existence is not defined by time than that which is. Time is but a function of man's desire to control his world around him, when in reality he has almost no control whatsoever. Ironic....so remember that time is temporary. We do not, and cannot, be perfect over night or really ever in this life. But we can begin to try...and keep trying.
Also ironic, but not at all a coincidence in my book, I just received an email with a quote by Elder Bednar: "Continuing Conversion is constant devotion to the revealed truth we have received - with a heart that is willing and for righteous reasons." I'll let you connect the dots and let the spirit teach you about that. :)

On a lighter, less eternal note...I recently had a 3-day weekend due to the Veterans Day holiday. So what did I do? Go hiking of course....twice in those 3 days of course. I won't say I'm not predictable. And of course it was a gorgeous fall weekend to do so. I still get a bit tripped up that it is the middle of November and still very pleasant outside every now and then. My time in Utah/Colorado has accustomed me to fierce, cold fall weather...well lets be honest, it's not fall weather but simply early winter. (As they currently recover from massive snow fall)

I retract my former statement, recalling the words of the Lord: "all things unto me are spiritual"..and "all things bear record of me." Methinks, therefore, that He knew I needed my double hiking time this weekend and that it would administer to my whole being. Isn't our Heavenly Father amazing? And isn't life wonderful? If you don't really think so right now, take a step back and pray, ask your Father to feel of His Spirit, love and see things in His perspective...then I guarantee you will agree. Tell yourself: I can do this! God loves me, Jesus will help me, and that's all that matters!
Sometimes I make up little mantras like this to motivate myself to face big challenges and then repeat it in my mind over and over...don't laugh cuz it totally works!....thanks mom for teaching me about positive thinking. :)

storm quote wall

Meredith: yeah, i just did more whipped cream

Meredith: i wonder what would happen if you were riding a bike right now or rollerblading?

caitlyn: let me pick up the cheez-its i spilled..
meredith: i ate them...problem solved...

Meredith: you're not with us! get over here!

Caitlyn: well, if i stay up, i'll just keep eating!

Caitlyn: frankenstorm turns us into 3 giggly girls

everything i need to know i learned during a hurricane from NCIS

Tonight I am relishing in the sweet relaxation of a day off from work and the excitement of the natural phenomena of Hurricane Sandy. I am strange and crazy, as many have told me, as I enjoy witnessing the power and wonder of the earth's natural forces. I can now say I have experienced a hurricane! Next on the list....tornado. :) I've already lived through a million earthquakes, a volcanic eruption, and a couple blizzards. I am so grateful that I am getting to experience this storm in a safe elevation, in a sound structure, and far enough inland that we are not experiencing the brunt of the storm's wrath. It occurs to me that this has been a great opportunity for me to evaluate my emergency preparedness without actually having to use it all fully. I know the worst is not over, but doesn't look like it will be rocking us too bad in the DC metro area....course I could just have jinxed it worse by saying that..oh well.

I was watching an episode of NCIS tonight....I know, not only is that not a surprise but very predictable given my large dosage of free time indoors today. But today I appreciated the episode I watched more than any other. It was a flashback/the Christmas Carol-type story line of Gibbs' life. He would ask 'what would have happened if this had not happened?' and then saw his life if certain choices he had made had been altered. He ended up learning a great deal about the lives he had touched through out his life and came to the conclusion that he would not have changed anything, his life was just the way he wanted it because it was the best for everyone, including himself. He learned that if certain things had not or had happened, he would not have been able to help so many people, even if he had wanted something to be different for himself, and he appreciated the opportunities to touch people even in the midst of  or in spite of his own hard times. I realized that I can see the same in my own life. If things had happened that I had wanted to happen in the moment, I would not be where I am today and would not be able to bless the lives of those I know today with the things I have learned and experienced. And similarly, those I have been blessed by would not have had the opportunity to serve me. Sometimes, I am grateful for unfulfilled wishes. Ironic because I am sometimes very stubborn and impatient...ok I'll admit I am frequently stubborn and impatient, but I am humbled by the grace and omniscience of a loving Heavenly Father who knows so much better than I the best path for me, and others, in this life.

I feel like I say this a lot here....but I am truly in awe and thanks for the wonderful people in my life, for the people that I can serve and that have served me. I am also very appreciative for the Spirit that reminds me of the many blessings I have and humbles me daily. I love learning each day through personal revelation from the Holy Ghost. I feel like my spirit is a sponge that soaks up tidbits of spiritual kernels of truth and savors the joy of connecting with my Father. How wonderful the opportunity to progress, change, grow, learn, and become better each and every day....and that I can learn some of these things from my fav TV show. See good things can be found any where and every where, we just need to have 'eyes to see, and ears to hear.'

loose yourself

Tonight I met a husband and wife who are living out of their car. All the man wanted was to be happy and he knew he could find more of that by simply coming closer to God. He didn't want a house, a big car, or a new job. He just figured if he did what God wanted him to do things would get better but most of all he would be happy and purposeful. That is truth. That is the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I have made it a goal lately to look outward, to think of others and find ways to serve them, to put myself in their shoes, and see them as God does...as His children. And as the Savior teaches to forget yourself, if you truly "loose your life, he shall find it." He is not implying that we forget to take care of ourselves or that we don't live our own goals and dreams, rather that as we become selfless - to God and those around us - we find the true purpose of this life. As I have looked past my own insecurities, worries, and struggles, and thought more of my fellow man, I have felt lighter, happier, and more confident. That is the secret to this life. There are times in my life when I have remembered and practiced this better than other times and those have been the times when I have been the most at peace and joyful.

My joys/loves of late:

-beautiful new clothes....I know this is not new nor surprising but I needed new work clothes and I just love the feeling of confidence when you are wearing something that makes you feel pretty. Pres Eyring during conference said that women need to feel beautiful, therefore I do not feel it is unrighteous to appreciate this feeling
-uplifting people who accept you for who you are
-people who inspire me to be better
-crisp air meant for wearing jackets
-making someone else laugh or smile
-j.crew...I am hooked
-humility

a dream is a wish your heart makes

Last week I started at USAID. At first I didn't want to tell anyone because it was almost too good to be true. I guess I'm kinda funny that way, that when good things happen suddenly, I don't think they could actually be happening for real, so in my crazy mind I think if I tell someone then it might not work out....or something... :)
But it really happened! I. work. at. USAID. This really has been my dream for quite a while. I don't think I've ever actually articulated it to anyone (probably again for the reason stated above...we've established I'm quite strange). It is amazing to me to think that I have, for so long, wanted to work where I knew I was helping people. Each day, in some way, I help to improve the lives of people who are living with HIV/AIDS...... If that's not cool...I don't know what is.
I've come to know that Heavenly Father does know our dreams and desires, and even though they may not be of eternal consequence, He wants us to be happy, and if achieving a dream or goal makes us happy, He will help us achieve it. It's hard for me to believe one of dreams has actually come true, and I know that it has not been through my own efforts alone. I know that He helped me to come to the place where I am and placed people in my path, then worked out some miracle so that I could get this job over someone else.
My life is far from perfect. No one's is even close. I have my own trials and challenges (and sometimes it is only through the power of the atonement and lots of faith that I can make it through). I know that everyone of us has our individual sets of trials in this life. But I am so grateful for the path my life has taken thus far. I know that it has been guided by the hand of the Lord as I have chosen to keep His commandments. His way is the way of peace and happiness. His way is the way of success and fulfillment of dreams.
The world, every day, tries to tell me otherwise. It tries to tell me that I don't need faith, I only need me. It tries to tell me that I don't need Christ, I only need the glory of men. It tries to tell me I don't need to keep God's commandments, I only need to please myself, or even worse, others. But I know what is right and true. I know that God's way is about so much more than momentary fun or power, it is about eternal joy and everlasting life. I know that true light leads one to follow Christ and attempt to emulate Him, instead of emulating a super model or a pop star. I know that I do need faith, I need it every day of my life. I know that  I have felt the power and Spirit of God, teaching me and leading me in so many instances. How can I refute that? I cannot. God loves us. And so because of that He sent His Son to show us the way to live to find happiness. And that is all that really matters.

So today I am grateful for the following sources of JOY in my life:

-Jesus Christ...my Savior and Redeemer
-the scriptures...that bring His words into my life each day
-dreams...if you don't dream, How can God make your dreams come true?
-trees...the trees out here on the East coast really are beautiful
-good people...there are good people everywhere who are trying to make difference and help others
-fall!...I absolutely LOVE fall in DC! everything about it is just fabulous (which means that the next couple months of posts will probably be consumed with thoughts/images of fall :) )

PS: if you do not know what USAID is...google it. Just kidding! Its the United States Agency for International Development. I work in the office of HIV/AIDS...and its just like it sounds. http://www.usaid.gov/what-we-do/global-health/hivaids