it's a love story....part one

so here's the story everyone has been waiting for...

during a cold and wet February, I was feeling a particular need to escape the craziness of Washington. my friend, Chris (happy now Chris?), invited me down to Richmond for a visit and to participate in a singles activity down there. it being a holiday weekend, I thought sure, why not? so I drove down, anticipating nothing except dancing, visiting my dear friend in charlottesville, and going for a bike ride. 

the evening started simple enough with a bit of socializing and mocktail drinks. and then they instituted the forced "speed dating" portion of the activity which I was ignorant of prior to arriving. I was there to dance and that was all. 

but I reluctantly joined in the matching up in support of my friend with thoughts of the time passing quickly until the music started. 

I dutifully chatted with each guy that passed my way, answering and asking silly questions. there happened to be two latin guys in the group, one from Mexico and one from Guatemala. they stood out obviously, or rather I stood out, because in both conversations it came up that I spoke Spanish and I chatted with both a bit in Spanish. 

after the rounds of speed dating, I strutted out to the gym, ready to get to the best part of the night (ie: dancing). no sooner had I gotten a good spot when the Mexican guy came up and began to talk to me quite a bit. 

all the while I noticed the guy from Guatemala hanging around a bit. it kinda looked like he wanted to talk to me but I was a bit consumed with trying to kindly extraciate myself from the other guy's presence in order to dance.

 I finally was successful and then was able to enjoy the music. and then the guy from Guatemala made his way to my side, more than once in fact. and it was a great contrast talking with him after the other guy. like a breath of fresh air...or latino air. :) we danced, talked, laughed. it felt really good to be around him. he was so nice and funny and easy going, and persistent! as he then asked for my number. I was pleasantly surprised although not really expecting much to come of it. 

but then the next day he texted me. and then kept texting me! and calling me. he asked me when he could call, and he actually called when he said he would!! miracle!

our first date was to the DC temple, which of course I enjoyed...going to the temple and all. the thought occurred to me that this could either be a really good sign or....well to be honest a really scary sign. 

it struck me that day that he was a perfect gentleman. and maybe too good to be true-- he calls when he says he will, is respectful, goes to the temple, serves in the church, drives all the way up to DC to see me, tells me I'm wonderful....I kept waiting for a catch.

 well there never turned out to be a catch because the past 6-ish months if my life have been the most wonderful time getting to know this amazing man. he has such a good heart and would do anything for me. I love being with him-laughing with him (which we do a lot), talking with him, serving with him. it never gets old. 

winning the battle

I have remembered a few things lately. I am calling them my 3 keys to winning the daily battle :) 

#1 I need to pray every day, even all the time. And I need to really pray, not just tell my Father in Heaven what I need or what I'm thankful for, but communicate with my all-wise, all-knowing Father. He responds when I make an effort and put in more than just mumblings in a half-awake daze. I love what Preach My Gospel says about prayer:

Strive to pray sincerely, with real intent, and with “all the energy of heart” (Moroni 7:48). Effective prayer requires great effort (see Moroni 10:3–4;D&C 8:10; 9:7). Give serious thought to your attitude and to the words you use.https://www.lds.org/manual/preach-my-gospel-a-guide-to-missionary-service/how-do-i-recognize-and-understand-the-spirit?lang=eng

When I studied this as a missionary I wrote in the margin: Prayer is a form of work!

I love it when I have a conversation with my Father in Heaven, not just speaking to the air, but pouring my heart out and then listening for what might come in response. 

And guess what, God does answer our prayers! I have had some wonderful experiences lately in which I counseled with Him and received guidance and peace. 

Sometimes I don't receive actual answers to my prayers right away, but I feel close to my Father and am able to feel calm and strength in the midst of a crazy life when I consistently seek out opportunities to sincerely pray. 

I have come to realize that in order to make it in this crazy world and these difficult times, we must pray. When I don't I can feel the adversary pushing his way into my thoughts and discouragement overcoming any faith and hope I have. We can't do it alone. The forces around us are strong and as Christ said to the Nephites:

Behold, verily, verily, I say unto you, ye must watch and pray always lest ye enter into temptation; for ^aSatan desireth to have you, that he may sift you as wheat. 3 Nephi 18:18 https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/3-ne/18.18?lang=eng#17

When I read this I picture in my mind satan laughing as we slip through his fingers...or something like that. Bottom line: We need to pray!

#2 I need to read the word of God every day. And not just read, or even really read very much, but more ponder what it means and listen to the spirit. I have learned that the spirit will teach me what I need to know from the words that day if I will take the time to pause and consider the scriptures. 

And I truly need to do this every day. Just like praying, I need that strength and peace that comes from the spirit, but I also need the direction and eternal perspective that comes from the word of God. 

Every day I am in a battle. We all are. And its not a battle of words or bullets, but a battle for our eternal welfare. Satan is really patient and he doesn't take us by making us fall to his level all at once, but he does it bit by bit, each day that we don't strengthen our relationship with and knowledge of God, he claims a small victory. He chips away at our strength if we aren't actively working at fortifying it. And he is way too good at it. The scriptures give us the means to fortify ourselves every day. 

#3 I need to be 100% obedient to God's commandments. Once again, not earth shattering news, but something I am remembering. Obedience gives us power. God's power. No really, it does! 

I am not sure how it all happens, but it is amazing. When I know I am doing the best I can to be exactly obedient to the commandments, I feel strong and I feel the Lord's power moving in my life. And oh how I need to be strong and have his power at work in my life. We all do don't we? 

Lately I have been pondering on the great example of Adam, who built an altar and prayed to God, not knowing why except that he had been commanded to do so. His sincere desire was to be obedient to all of God's commands, whether he knew the reason for doing so or not. 

I find that sometimes I want to have a logical explanation for a each commandment so I can feel justified in obeying them. Why not because God asked me to do so? If I truly trust in a loving God, who wants my eternal well-being more than anything else, I would do anything he says without question. 

Adam was the father of all mankind, the lord over the whole earth. He was a great prophet and patriarch, and I believe his power and wisdom came from his unfailing, unquestioning obedience. 

As I am typing this I realize this is similar to my formula I created as a missionary that I always pestered my poor companions with:

Prayer + hard work + 100% obedience = miracles

It sounds a little too simple maybe, but it carried me through 19 months of missionary service and I really did see miracles on a daily basis. 

Why not have miracles in ordinary life? We can. I love what Moroni says in Moroni, Chapter 7 of the Book of Mormon:

 27 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, have ^amiracles ceased because Christ hath ascended into heaven, and hath sat down on the right hand of God, to ^bclaim of the Father his rights of mercy which he hath upon the children of men?

29 And because he hath done this, my beloved brethren, have miracles ceased? Behold I say unto you, Nay; neither have ^aangels  ceased to minister unto the children of men.

 30 For behold, they are subject unto him, to minister according to the word of his command, showing themselves unto them of strong faith and a firm mind in every form of ^agodliness.

35 And now, my beloved brethren, if this be the case that these things are true which I have spoken unto you, and God will show unto you, with ^apower and great glory at the last ^bday, that they are true, and if they are true has the day of miracles ceased?

 36 Or have angels ceased to appear unto the children of men? Or has he ^awithheld the power of the Holy Ghost from them? Or will he, so long as time shall last, or the earth shall stand, or there shall be one man upon the face thereof to be saved?

 37 Behold I say unto you, Nay; for it is by faith that ^amiracles are wrought; and it is by faith that angels appear and minister unto men; wherefore, if these things have ceased wo be unto the children of men, for it is because of ^bunbelief, and all is vain. https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/moro/7.27,29,35,37?lang=eng

Miracles can and do still happen! It is up to us to see them and have the faith to participate in them. One of the miracles is wining this daily battle we are engaged in. I'm going to make better use of prayer, the scriptures, and obedience in my battle plan.

On another note...as I do this my faith will undoubtedly increase..thus helping me see those angels that are supposed to appear and minister as Moroni mentioned right? :) (next goal: see angels)

sometimes

sometimes I wish I was skinny....

and then I remember that in many countries in the world people are skinny because they are malnourished or starving. I am grateful that I am healthy and have never lacked in nutritional or medical needs. 

sometimes I wish I had all the money in the world so I could not worry about budgeting and could buy all the beautiful clothes I wanted....

and then I remember how much I do have, how some people live on less than $1 a day (I make $1 in 3 minutes), and some women don't even have more than one outfit let alone the closet/dressers-ful that I have. 

sometimes I wish I didn't have to sit at a desk all day to work....

and then I remember how many women around the world have to walk miles each day just for water or stand all day in a hot factory or don't have a job or don't even have the opportunity and freedom to have a job. 

sometimes I wish I was a man so I didn't have to do my hair or buy tampons or deal with many other unavoidable aspects of being a woman....

and then I remember how much God loves his daughters and the miracles that occur due to the functions of a female body in bringing life to this world. 

sometimes I wish life wasn't so hard....

and then I remember the growth and learning that occurs through difficulty and how Christ always strengthens me to handle everything that comes my way.

sometimes I wish that there was no suffering or sadness in the world...

and then I remember how it helps me have charity and empathy for my fellow man and gives me the opportunity to serve them. 

sometimes I wish I knew the end from the beginning so I didn't have to worry....

and then I remember how a loving, powerful God is in control, he knows what's best and has asked me to trust him-- I get to enjoy the ride and the thrill that comes when something delightful happens!

sometimes I wish I never got sick or hurt or physically weak....

and then I remember how amazing that our bodies usually function well on their own and can heal themselves of many ailments. I also remember how wonderful people have helped me when I am sick and how much I am loved. (mostly by my mom)

sometimes I wish I was naturally incredibly gorgeous....

and then I remember that physical beauty will always fade with age and time, but good character, knowledge and my divine worth will never be lost or change. 

sometimes I wish I could be superwoman and be perfect, help everyone, know everything, do everything, and never get tired of it all.....

and then I remember that I don't have to be perfect because of the atonement of Jesus Christ, and I don't have to do or be everything because Heavenly Father loves me the way I am and will help become the woman he wants me to be.